The damage we are doing to the parent’s wine fund

Winning back students to school meals is what we do a lot of, so I must admit I became very concerned when I first got wind of the following email from a parent and school governor at Teddington School in Middlesex.
But then I read it all the way through – it’s hilarious! Read and laugh….

Till next time,


What has happened to school lunches?

Dear Richard,

I know that you are a busy man, but I feel compelled to write to complain about the quality of the school lunches at Teddington School.

Up until the start of this term, my children had considered the lunches at school to be dreadful and insisted on packed lunches. Although this required some work from me, they could be produced at very low cost and everyone was happy. They had something to eat and the money saved went into the Household Adult Wine Fund.

Now we are in the rather awkward situation where my children think the lunches are great and want them every day. Roast dinners, burgers, Tex Mex – nothing but variety and superlatives. Not only is my wife’s reputation as a fine cook being steadily undermined but, even worse, this will increase pocket outgoings by around £120 per month. The extra 20 minutes in bed in the morning is no gain when you consider the loss to the Wine Fund.

I really don’t know what the world is coming to. In my day, it was accepted that school food was dreadful and it never did me any harm (apart from the normal problems that everyone has with food phobias and nightmares). If we carry getting soft like this, the next thing we’ll do is to make schools light, airy, clean and smart places to learn in! Then where will we be!

I am wondering whether there might be a solution where you could program the children’s lunch cards to only dispense gruel? That might help guide them back to the ham sandwich option… just a thought.

p.s. When do you launch the Governor Lunch Card?

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